Polyvagal Theory
A theory describing how the nervous system shifts between states of safety, mobilization, and shutdown, influencing connection, communication, and sexual readiness.
What This Really Means
Polyvagal theory is widely used in somatic and trauma-informed practice to explain why people can feel open and connected in one moment and distant or numb in another.
In intimacy, cues of safety (tone of voice, pacing, consent, privacy) can help move toward a “social engagement” state.
The theory is influential, though researchers debate some details; its practical value is often in helping people name state shifts with less shame.
Examples
A partner’s gentle voice and slower pace helps someone relax into touch
Feeling judged triggers shutdown and emotional distance
Taking a break and reconnecting through eye contact and breathing before continuing.
Common Misunderstandings
Tap each myth to reveal the reality
Polyvagal Theory describes a theory describing how the nervous system shifts between states of safety, mobilization, and shutdown, influencing connection, communication, so it doesn’t mean that polyvagal theory is a complete map of the brain.
Polyvagal Theory describes a theory describing how the nervous system shifts between states of safety, mobilization, and shutdown, influencing connection, communication, so it doesn’t mean that if someone is dysregulated, they are choosing to be difficult.
Polyvagal Theory points to a theory describing how the nervous system shifts between states of safety, mobilization, and shutdown, influencing connection, communication, so nervous-system states remove responsibility for behavior is a misunderstanding.
Polyvagal Theory isn’t defined by sex should always be soothing and never activating, and it’s about a theory describing how the nervous system shifts between states of safety, mobilization, and shutdown, influencing connection, communication.
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Inside LoveIQ
We identify patterns related to Polyvagal Theory by analyzing responses in our assessment modules, helping you understand your unique relationship dynamics.
Sample visualization of a gap metric.
“You don't need to label yourself. These terms help describe patterns — not define you.”
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