Inadequacy / Performance Insecurity
A fear of not being “good enough” sexually or relationally, often linked to self-monitoring, shame, or performance anxiety.
What This Really Means
This insecurity can reduce desire by activating arousal brakes (overthinking, fear of judgment).
It often improves through realistic expectations, state-based rewards, supportive feedback, and consent-centered pacing.
Examples
Over-focusing on orgasm or erection
Avoiding initiation due to fear of disappointing a partner
Feeling tense when receiving feedback about preferences.
Common Misunderstandings
Tap each myth to reveal the reality
Inadequacy / Performance Insecurity isn’t defined by you don’t want your partner, and it’s about a fear of not being “good enough” sexually or relationally, often linked to self-monitoring, shame, or performance anxiety.
Inadequacy / Performance Insecurity is about a fear of not being “good enough” sexually or relationally, often linked to self-monitoring, shame, or performance anxiety, and it doesn’t imply that confidence should be effortless.
Inadequacy / Performance Insecurity points to a fear of not being “good enough” sexually or relationally, often linked to self-monitoring, shame, or performance anxiety, so trying harder fixes it is a misunderstanding.
Inadequacy / Performance Insecurity is about a fear of not being “good enough” sexually or relationally, often linked to self-monitoring, shame, or performance anxiety, and it doesn’t imply that if you’re insecure, you should hide it from partners.
Tags
Inside LoveIQ
We identify patterns related to Inadequacy / Performance Insecurity by analyzing responses in our assessment modules, helping you understand your unique relationship dynamics.
Sample visualization of a gap metric.
“You don't need to label yourself. These terms help describe patterns — not define you.”
Return to Glossary Index